Family photos sure ain’t what they used to be – too much naked knitting!

It might be a touch sentimental to have framed family photos scattered around the house but I can understand how people could like having a memento of their loved ones. There’s nothing like family, as they say, but, in all honesty, family members can be some of the weirdest folk you’re ever likely to meet. After-all, we don’t choose our relatives. These photographs make me think we’re sometimes better off without some of them.

In case you’re lucky enough not to be related to any of the charming people in these photos, I suggest you should stay strangers. I mean, who thinks he’s the head of this particular household.

And, I know we’re supposed to be unembarrassed by our pets’ private parts but do you really want to look at this one on your mantelpiece?

I wouldn’t even answer the door to these two even if they were my long lost cousins. I can imagine what words pretty polly comes out with.

And what’s the joke here, I wonder? I know, I’m a middle child too, and we’re always put upon. Nice.

I know these are just knitted onesies but, come on guys, why bother covering up at all?

No such coyness with this happy couple – more’s the pity. That child will be a monk when he grows up.

I despair! What are they trying to do to their kids? This is just plain creepy. Someone ring President Obama, goddammit.  Call me old-fashioned but what was wrong with the good old traditional family photograph?

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My novel, Stephen Dearsley’s Summer Of Love, was published  on 31 October 2013. It is the story of a young fogey living in Brighton in 1967 who has a lot to learn when the flowering hippie counter culture changes him and the world around him.